Mindfulness amidst a dumpster fire
It’s 2020, folks; a year full of political upheaval, a global pandemic and long overdue social justice protests.
To say these are uncertain or unprecedented times is an understatement. We are living in an era of heightened disruption, increased anxiety, loneliness, and a desperate need for structural and societal change. Each passing hour brings new developments that can throw our minds into disarray and our bodies into fight or flight. Many of us feel compelled to take action but struggle to cope with the turmoil of our inner dialogue along the way. As I personally navigate this new world order, I’ve begun to look deeply at my way of being to understand how I can set myself for the long haul.
COVID-19 cases are surging, Election Day is months away, and social justice doesn’t happen overnight. Strap in folx, it’s going to be a wild ride.
If you’re anything like me, when confronted with an anxious, uncertain, or difficult situation, you default to:
Avoidance or delay (pretending the situation isn’t happening)
Distraction (bingeing TV, scrolling through social media, drinking copious amounts of wine, etc.)
Anger (lashing out or complaining to others)
Worry (letting the angst and the uncertainty take over you mind)
And while these coping mechanisms and habits can be indulgent (and some of them downright fun), they usually aren’t very stabilizing.
So what habits can we build that will help set us up to live amidst a dumpster fire in a productive and sustainable way? Of course you know I’m going to suggest meditation, but before downloading that app or even scheduling a class with me in attempt to build a practice, may I suggest you:
Meet the moment where it is
Did I mention the dumpster fire we’re in? This current moment is impacting all of us differently and distinctly, yet collectively. While changing the external is oftentimes out of our control, we do have the means to change how we process what is happening internally; in other words, our perceptions, emotions, and responses. So, learn to meet the moment where it is and understand its complexities, its nuances, and everything it holds and brings. Most importantly, understand your own evaluation of that moment, your relationship and connection with it, and just how you react to it. This practice of awareness with non-judgement is critical to meeting any challenge mindfully and with intention (on or off the cushion).
Let your brain do what it wants to do: think
Many of us start our journey with meditation assuming that the desired outcome is to sit for minutes at a time not thinking a single thought. “Stop the thoughts and then I’ll find peace” we say. However, much like how the heart is designed to beat and the lungs are designed to breathe, our brains are designed to think. Rather than attempting to stop that natural process, try to train the brain to observe it; to be aware of the thoughts without suppressing them, regardless of how rapid or manic they may be in the moment.
Know you have the power to self-regulate
The mind and the body are not two separate entities of the same being, they are very much the same. As evolved beings who are designed to survive, our bodies physiologically respond to stress by igniting our fight or flight mode. Through meditation and other physical practices like deep breathing, we can counteract that by waking the parasympathetic nervous system in order to calm the body and thus the mind. Similarly, as conscious, thinking beings we have the ability to purposefully remind ourselves in a moment that we are safe, everything is at ease, and the body can relax. As someone who has lived with panic disorder and generalized anxiety for years, this realization of self-regulation has become an incredibly handy party trick in moments of stress or panic.
Forgive yourself when you f*ck up
Contrary to popular belief, meditation is not an innate ability; it’s not a magical super power you’re born with or something only your most granola friend who lives on an organic farm in Southern California can do. Meditation is a skill we can all develop over time, with practice and intention, much like running long distances or playing an instrument. So when (yes when, not if) you f*ck up, when you fall off the mindfulness wagon, when you feel like meditation just isn’t for you because it’s not “sticking”, forgive yourself and try again. It’s called a practice for a reason.
Find accountability with a partner or community
Habits are our brain’s internal drivers. Much of our daily behavior is automatic so changing said behavior can be incredibly difficult without some sort of accountability. A recent study on accountability found that we have a 65% chance of completing a goal if we commit to someone. And if we have a regular accountability call with a person we’ve committed to, the chances of success increase to 95%! 95%! Imagine if you had a 95% success rate for every goal you ever set for yourself. I’d be on top of the damn world (maybe literally, who knows!). Side note: If you’re interested in getting set up with an accountability partner, I’d be happy to match you with someone in our community. Let me know here.
Building habits like meditating regularly can be hard and being more mindful when nearly each and every moment lately feels icky, uncertain, or flat out terrifying may feel counterintuitive. Try to think of these moments as the training ground you need to learn to be with what comes up and take control of your internal narrative before it takes control of you.